A smudge of dark cloud
On the horizon became
A hot air balloon
~
White egrets contrast
The darkening clouds above
Earth awaits the rain
Friday, May 14, 2010
Things To Come...
I plan on doing a few 30-day trials in the near future and blogging about my experience:
-Vegetarian diet
-Working on my online presence and/or my house every day after work (being productive)
-Meditating / reading / no television
It will actually take awhile to accomplish these since I begin a Masters program in September and will have to focus on school work, but at least I've written it down as a goal! I'm hoping to end the habit of procrastination when I start school, but I need some practice first so I don't crash and burn! :)
-Vegetarian diet
-Working on my online presence and/or my house every day after work (being productive)
-Meditating / reading / no television
It will actually take awhile to accomplish these since I begin a Masters program in September and will have to focus on school work, but at least I've written it down as a goal! I'm hoping to end the habit of procrastination when I start school, but I need some practice first so I don't crash and burn! :)
First Thoughts
Dear Readers,
For my first post, I will be pasting the letter that I sent to the frontman of The Smashing Pumpkins, Billy Corgan, in September 2009 requesting to be a contributor to his personal blog website. It is relevant to where I am in my life right now so that you can understand a little bit of where I am coming from in writing this blog.
"Dearest Billy,
I am so excited about the future, whatever it may bring! I just moved back to Orlando, FL after living in Los Angeles for two years. I freely left a well-paying, secure job to follow my dream of owning a home in Florida. “Old Kristy” would not have moved across the country unless she was guaranteed a job, especially in this economy. “New Kristy” jumped, trusting the net would appear, even though she couldn’t see it. Now that a job I thought would work out perfectly and allow me to buy a house quickly has fallen through, I am faced with infinite free time and many questions and ideas about the future. I wonder what lessons I am learning now that I wasn’t anticipating?
I was raised Presbyterian which was a perfectly nice religion that gave me values which I am very proud of, but the problem is that it is a religion. It's very hard to shake a religion, but now I'm on a fascinating, enlightening path which I think simply involves being curious about spirituality. I don't believe that there is any one "right" religion. I feel there are infinite paths to God and that what is right for one person may not be right for another person. If it feels good to you, then it’s right for you. Although, if it feels angry, jealous, depressing, or guilt-ridden, it may not be right for anyone! :-) We are God, God is us. I currently find Love/God in the form of a few true friends, my mother, and being in nature. I have attached a few photos I took of what Love/God "looks like" to me at this moment.
I want to expand the ideas I've discovered over the past two years and really learn to live them, to be them. My eyes have been opened by Eckhart Tolle's works, Siddhartha, What The Bleep!?, principles in The Law of Attraction, writings from two psychic/mediums, personal development blogger Steve Pavlina, and, of course, music. I love to contemplate the idea that time is merely an illusion. I am also fascinated by thinking about how I knew my friends, acquaintances, and family members in our previous lives. This is especially fun when applying it to people I’m just meeting. Did we have a special connection before, or is this a new soul to me?
Everyone is the same - we are all created equal and no one is better than anyone else. I feel we all have the same freedoms as humans and it hurts me deeply to see homeless people, starving children, abused animals, and people who are not being treated by their peers as equals. It's too much for me to bear at times. Lately though, when I get these feelings I have come to understand that this is what it feels like to be "one" with humanity and I sit in that feeling to try and absorb it but then attempt to remove the emotions I have about it. I am particularly interested in understanding "oneness" better. What the Bleep!? has really brought my scientific mind into understanding this a bit better with its discussion of quantum physics relating to spiritual themes.
It's odd to me now when I meet new people or chat with friends that I haven't in a number of years and see what different places we are in. I want so badly for friends and family to understand the concepts I’ve discovered, but everyone has their own journey in this life, and it may not be time for them to feel what I am feeling. I myself am new on this journey of spiritual discovery - there is much to learn and understand.
To feel real, unimpeded bliss is what I love about being alive. I also love being able to learn in so many ways (mental knowledge, experiencing Earth and the Universe, interpersonal connecting, spiritually, etc). I always remain open to hearing new theories, concepts, and ideas. I now use words and phrases I only used to hear hippies saying, for example, "That doesn't resonate (or vibe) with me." Hmm, I guess the hippies had it right all along, especially now that "going green" has gone mainstream. :-)
What is your dream? Are you moving in the direction of that dream, or do you still need to discover the dream? Following your dream feels like making the decision to take the elevator to the top of the CN Tower, then standing on the glass floor, which is all very scary at first. Then you start taking in the sights and forget that you are on the glass floor. Occasionally you look down again and your heart skips a beat, but you realize that you were never really in danger, and are subsequently re-exhilarated. I feel as though my dream has only been half revealed to me. If I could see everything now, what would be the fun in that?
If all of these things I have come to believe turn out to be wrong in the end, it won't matter because they helped me to live a more fulfilling life. Our lives are a gift, but we also choose to be here. I think that when we die we get all the answers, but wouldn’t it be exciting if we could receive and experience some of the answers while we are alive? :-)
Even if you don't choose me to contribute to your site, I'm glad to have all of my thoughts written in one place. Thank you for listening, and best wishes in all you choose to do with this life.
Love,
Kristy"
For my first post, I will be pasting the letter that I sent to the frontman of The Smashing Pumpkins, Billy Corgan, in September 2009 requesting to be a contributor to his personal blog website. It is relevant to where I am in my life right now so that you can understand a little bit of where I am coming from in writing this blog.
"Dearest Billy,
I am so excited about the future, whatever it may bring! I just moved back to Orlando, FL after living in Los Angeles for two years. I freely left a well-paying, secure job to follow my dream of owning a home in Florida. “Old Kristy” would not have moved across the country unless she was guaranteed a job, especially in this economy. “New Kristy” jumped, trusting the net would appear, even though she couldn’t see it. Now that a job I thought would work out perfectly and allow me to buy a house quickly has fallen through, I am faced with infinite free time and many questions and ideas about the future. I wonder what lessons I am learning now that I wasn’t anticipating?
I was raised Presbyterian which was a perfectly nice religion that gave me values which I am very proud of, but the problem is that it is a religion. It's very hard to shake a religion, but now I'm on a fascinating, enlightening path which I think simply involves being curious about spirituality. I don't believe that there is any one "right" religion. I feel there are infinite paths to God and that what is right for one person may not be right for another person. If it feels good to you, then it’s right for you. Although, if it feels angry, jealous, depressing, or guilt-ridden, it may not be right for anyone! :-) We are God, God is us. I currently find Love/God in the form of a few true friends, my mother, and being in nature. I have attached a few photos I took of what Love/God "looks like" to me at this moment.
I want to expand the ideas I've discovered over the past two years and really learn to live them, to be them. My eyes have been opened by Eckhart Tolle's works, Siddhartha, What The Bleep!?, principles in The Law of Attraction, writings from two psychic/mediums, personal development blogger Steve Pavlina, and, of course, music. I love to contemplate the idea that time is merely an illusion. I am also fascinated by thinking about how I knew my friends, acquaintances, and family members in our previous lives. This is especially fun when applying it to people I’m just meeting. Did we have a special connection before, or is this a new soul to me?
Everyone is the same - we are all created equal and no one is better than anyone else. I feel we all have the same freedoms as humans and it hurts me deeply to see homeless people, starving children, abused animals, and people who are not being treated by their peers as equals. It's too much for me to bear at times. Lately though, when I get these feelings I have come to understand that this is what it feels like to be "one" with humanity and I sit in that feeling to try and absorb it but then attempt to remove the emotions I have about it. I am particularly interested in understanding "oneness" better. What the Bleep!? has really brought my scientific mind into understanding this a bit better with its discussion of quantum physics relating to spiritual themes.
It's odd to me now when I meet new people or chat with friends that I haven't in a number of years and see what different places we are in. I want so badly for friends and family to understand the concepts I’ve discovered, but everyone has their own journey in this life, and it may not be time for them to feel what I am feeling. I myself am new on this journey of spiritual discovery - there is much to learn and understand.
To feel real, unimpeded bliss is what I love about being alive. I also love being able to learn in so many ways (mental knowledge, experiencing Earth and the Universe, interpersonal connecting, spiritually, etc). I always remain open to hearing new theories, concepts, and ideas. I now use words and phrases I only used to hear hippies saying, for example, "That doesn't resonate (or vibe) with me." Hmm, I guess the hippies had it right all along, especially now that "going green" has gone mainstream. :-)
What is your dream? Are you moving in the direction of that dream, or do you still need to discover the dream? Following your dream feels like making the decision to take the elevator to the top of the CN Tower, then standing on the glass floor, which is all very scary at first. Then you start taking in the sights and forget that you are on the glass floor. Occasionally you look down again and your heart skips a beat, but you realize that you were never really in danger, and are subsequently re-exhilarated. I feel as though my dream has only been half revealed to me. If I could see everything now, what would be the fun in that?
If all of these things I have come to believe turn out to be wrong in the end, it won't matter because they helped me to live a more fulfilling life. Our lives are a gift, but we also choose to be here. I think that when we die we get all the answers, but wouldn’t it be exciting if we could receive and experience some of the answers while we are alive? :-)
Even if you don't choose me to contribute to your site, I'm glad to have all of my thoughts written in one place. Thank you for listening, and best wishes in all you choose to do with this life.
Love,
Kristy"
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